Endal
Beloved service dog to Gulf War veteran Allen Parton
World’s Most Distinguished Service Dog

Sybil
Pet of Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling
Briefly Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office
Removal rumored to have fueled Gordon Brown’s decline in polls

India the Cat
First Cat During Bush Administration
Name said to have fueled poor Indio-American Relations
Working on anti-Ms. Beazley bio at time of death

Gidget the Taco Bell Dog
Most offensive mascot since Frito Bandito
Rumoured to have caused hundreds of unexplained homocides in late 90′s

And last but certainly not least

Socks the Cat
No simple summary will suffice

Requiescant in pace

That’s why I found this news item most alarming. From the AP:

hree boys have been arrested for investigation of bullying red-haired students after a Facebook message promoted “Kick a Ginger Day” at a Southern California school.
Los Angeles County sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said Monday that two 12-year-olds were arrested for suspicion of misdemeanor battery, and a 13-year-old was booked for misdemeanor cyberbullying. They were released to their parents.

For the uninitated, the word “ginger” was popularized as a description for light-skinned, freckled red-headed kids by the South Park episode “”. In the episode Cartman delivers a very nasty presentation about the children during show and tell. To get back at him, his ostensible friends turn him into a ginger using hair dye and make-up. However, Cartman ends up leading a Ginger supremacist group that ultimately kidnap his friends. They reveal their charade to him, and he suddenly begins preaching racial tolerance. The episode stabs right at the heart of the stupidity of racism in all forms, be it by a majority or by a minority group that co-opts it to fight past discrimination.

Unfortunately, it appears that the message was taken out of context by a group of bullies. The administrator of the Facebook group has claimed it was all a joke, but even one act of violence makes the joke unfunny. I foist no blame upon the creators of South Park–they were simply trying to be entertaining and educational at the same time, the way satire is intended to be used. However, great care must be taken to balance the two, and clearly the site administrator did not do this in his call to “shine up the steel toed boots.”

Satire has a way of biting its creators. My own post on Socks the Cat has led to that being the fifth most popular search term leading to this site. I lay awake wondering sometimes if some poor Fourth grader is out there crying about the D- he got on his report about presidential pets because he cited my blog. That goes away when I recall the disclaimer I placed at the end, but its still a very real concern for satirists everywhere.

I also wanted to use this chance to chide the producers of Family Guy. The episode featured this week as a premiere on Adult Swim has similar racial overtones, though the humor is far more broad. After an African-American accquaintance of Peter and Lois (that Peter turned on when he discovered that Lois had slept with him prior to their marriage) has his house accidentally burnt down by Peter, Peter remarks “This is the sort of thing that makes you want to grab your nephew and go on a shooting rampage in the D.C. area.” Not only is this sort of remark the sort of throw-away gag that can be extremely hit or miss and only funny given the current cultural contest (much of Family Guy is funny now for precisely parodying pop culture, but will it be in 100 years without semi-fresh memories of its targets?), but the joke was very poorly timed given the recent execution of John Allen Muhammed, the fiend behind the attacks that paralyzed this commonwealth for weeks. The episode first aired less than two weeks after the execution, when the memory had just been brought back up for many.

I’ll continue to watch the show, but I will admit that I am beginning to grow weary of a brand of humor that is long on shock value and short on insight.

Today I wanted to take a moment to thank Adult Swim for their week-long retrospective of the King of the Hill’s past Thanksgiving shows. Many of you who know me personally know that I am a big fan of the show and of Adult Swim. I was quite happy when Adult Swim picked up the show, despite the fact that its straight ahead satire isn’t a perfect match for the more absurdist comedies the network features. For the uninitated, King of the Hill focuses on the daily life and travails of the Hill family in the fictitious town of Arlen, Texas. Though it is an animated sitcom, it has often been overlooked for its incisive satire (and loving embrace) of small town American life. The program is unique amongst other animated sitcoms (note how I avoid the use of the word cartoon) in that it generally follows the rules of physics and for not being overly reliant on slapstick comedy. However, it still takes great liberty in using its medium to its fullest potential to skewer both the troubling and joyous aspects of our society.

King of the Hill is brilliant in the way that it both embraces and pokes fun at the occasional ignorance of small town Americans of the world writ large while simultaneously skewering both high minded social engineers and profit driven corporations. At its core the show is more populist than conservative, though Hank Hill has many qualities that conservatives should embrace as their own: community spirit, a generous will, and a can-do-it attitude with a genuine love of hard work paying off for those willing to do it.

Another thing that its great at doing is showing the fact that, though many, MANY families in America may not live up to a Rockwellian image, by gum, they’re going to try. That’s why their satire of the holidays has always been so classic. In their Halloween episode they showed Hank going up against a religious zealot determined to suck the childish joy out of that holiday through an outright ban. In their Christmas episodes they’ve touched upon overwrought sentimentality, dealing with a mixed family, overcoming mixed emotions with parents, and the holiday’s pervasive loneliness for those without a family.

The Thanksgiving episodes are no less brilliant. For a holiday that few other shows touch, they produced four episodes, each classic in its own way. After all, what holiday could be more fitting for a show focused on small town America and how we sometimes don’t live up to the image but constantly strive towards it? In their first, “Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men,” they examined Hank’s strained relationship with his WWII hero father he admires but who shows little love back and his hesitance to confront his father’s demeaning treatment towards his long suffering mother (who Cotton claims he “scrapped” for a much young woman). They do this in the context of a focus group for a new mower that’s replacing Hank’s beloved model (which is framed as a brilliant Nine Angry Men parody). The mower turns out to be long on features but short of quality. They manage in the same episode to both explore the psychology behind a split family as well as deliver some snark to our enhancement obsessed society as well as some of the pop psychology and pseudo-science upon which focus groups are based. The episode features a bit part from a minister who delivers two classic lines. They speak to me as someone who has struggled with his own faith at times:

Boyce Hubert, minister, though I’ve lost my faith. Though I did find a pretty great parking space on the way in, but the lord works in such mysterious ways that who the hell knows.

I’m not sure if there’s a God, or a heaven, but one thing I can tell you, your daddy’s going to Hell.

In the Season 4 episode “Happy Hank’s Giving,” they again examine the family dynamic, this time with Peggy’s family. Peggy is shown as constantly trying to compete with her demanding mother who seems to love her brother more. Her brother, the father of their live-in niece, is hinted to be incarcerated, a fact proven in later seasons. They also examine Hank’s idefatigable character and honor as showing him as a man tested by the insanity of holidays at the airport, particularly when their flight repeatedly runs into weather issues. In one touching scene, he plays along with Peggy’s game of getting them on the last bus to Love Field, but at the last minute gives up their place to a man and his family who Hank had previously decided not to tell about the bus. The also satirize airline security two years before the events of September 11 by having Hank subjected to watching his beloved turkey destroyed by the airport bomb squad after it sent two of their bomb sniffing dogs over the edge and Hank’s repeated admission that his bags weren’t in his sight “at all times,” despite a security guard who could care less.

Season Five’s “Spin the Choice” again focuses on family, this time in the context of Bobby Hill befriending John Redcorn, the father of Hank’s neighbor’s Dale and Nancy Gribble’s son Joseph. It is in this episode that Joseph finally discovers his true heritage. That in of itself is interesting in acknowledging that these sorts of dramas are not just for big cities. However, the episode goes further by satirizing white guilt through Bobby’s scarily hilarious presentation at Thanksgiving dinner of the heritage of the Native Americans, one that in that part of the country includes cannibalism, while also showing the way in which people react to cultural truths they don’t quite understand. A classic line, when Dale is at the trailer of John Redcorn.

Redcorn: Any cultural anthropologist will tell you that the Anasazi last practiced cannibalism over 700 years ago!

Dale: (frightened) And you are affiliated with *which* tribe?

The final episode dealing with Thanksgiving was Season 7′s “Goodbye Normal Jeans.” The focus once again goes back to the Hill family, as Bobby takes home ec and (for once) actually manages to impress Hank, who is generally taken aback by Bobby’s less-than-masculine (in a Texas sort of way) tendencies. Peggy, frustrated that Bobby has taken over a good deal of domestic work and therefore making her feel devalued. I won’t ruin the ending, as it is airing tonight, but there’s a great bit skewering stereotypes of male hairdressers, a touching scene of reconciliation, and this classic line:

Bobby, I hope I never have to say this again, but get me an apron.

I know its probably strange to read a grown man opine at such length about “cartoons” (again, hate that word), but the show really spoke to me on many levels–not just as a small town American and a conservative but also because of my only family. I see a great deal of my father in Hank Hill, a dedicated seller of “propane and propane accessories,” a dedicated company man despite many episodes of disillusionment. I see some of my grandfather in Cotton Hill–a man for who there is much to admire but whose values didn’t always match with his parenting. Throw in other family issues, and, well, it’s all there. That’s what makes the show such a classic for me.

The show never got the audience it deserved, both with the general viewing public and with television critics. As you can see by my capsules above there’s much to be discussed from a cultural perspective. The show suffered due to often being pre-empted during football season, as it occupied the 7 o’clock time slot on Fox. It was unceremoniously dumped this season, and the final two episodes were shown in September with little promotion. The show may be remembered, however, as a favorite of former Democratic Governor Mike Easley.

But the show’s in the past now, and we’re left with twelve great seasons of satire and loving laughs about small town America. So sit back, relax, enjoy some turkey and football, and remember who we are as Americans, warts and all. And a happy Hanks-giving to you.

Paul Harvey, beloved radio commentator and a cultural staple for decades, died yesterday. The cause of death is not yet known. Mr. Harvey was best known for his Paul Harvey News and Comment, which ran for five decades on thousands of stations around the world, as well as his renowned “The Rest of the Story” features, where he would share fascinating back stories from historical and contemporary figures, though many of his stories have been debunked. He was a controversial figure in broadcasting, as he often used moments in his show to launch into advertisements for his sponsors. He also had his share of controversial opinions, often conservative in nature. He was well known (and often parodied) for his signature sayings and unique……cadence. He was the master of the dramatic pause. His unique blend of commentary and news was the forerunner of todays radio commentators, many of whom take cues from Mr. Harvey, whether they admit it or not. 

He left a large and loving family. Because Mr. Harvey loved his family so much, he was sure to leave them with the assurance that his affairs would be taken care of. He knew that, although life is a beautiful dance, it ultimately does stop, and so he knew that he must secure his family for the time when his dance was to end. As such, he was sure to get a policy from Planter’s Mutual Life and Home. He knew that Planter’s full array of various policies would be able to care for his specific needs as a public figure, newsman, and entertainer. You too can benefit from these policies. Just send one dollar and a Self-Adressed Envelope to P.O. Box 912, Des Moines, Iowa, and Planter’s will send you a kit showing you the many ways they can customize your policy for the time when your life ends. 

Sorry, but Mr. Harvey would have wanted it that way. 

This is Craig Orndorff…….Good Day!

Socks the Cat answering questions from the press on November 9th, 1994 following the Republican tidal wave in the midterm elections the day before. Socks had advised the DCCC on the use of animals in the Congressional campaigns

Socks the Cat, presidential pet and Democratic political consultant, died in Hollywood, Maryland at the age of 19. Socks had one of the longest tenures of presidential pets, but his term was not without controversy. Following Clinton’s re-election he was demoted to co-First Pet with Buddy the Dog, beginning a rift with the Clintons that Socks would carry to his grave. In 1998 was highly criticized for  scratching Tony Blair.

Socks began life in Little Rock Arkansas as the son of Fluffy and Roscoe on March 21st, 1989. He was the only surviving member of a litter of five, one of which was eaten by Fluffy and the others which met a variety of untimely fates, both canine and vehicular in nature. Roscoe was a poor provider and left the brood after he caught Fluffy with another tomcat. In 1990 Fluffy fell into an open sewer drain and was never seen again. At that point Socks was cast out into the streets of Little Rock, beginning a stretch of bad luck that would continue until Socks met the Clintons the following year. In his 2003 Memoir “My Tail,” Socks recounted that he suffered a serious battle with catnip addiction that continued well into his time in the White House. 

While sleeping off a catnip binge in early 1991 on top of some bags of shredded paper in an alleyway behind Rose Law in Little Rock, the cat was spotted by firm’s security guards. However, they were unable to apprehend the frisky feline. The cat was later found by Chelsea Clinton at the home of her piano teacher. Chelsea took the cat home, beginning a personal and professional relationship with the Clintons that lasted until Socks was exiled from the family in 2001. 

Socks is credited by some Clinton insiders as the inspiration behind the Clinton-Gore campaign’s core strategy  when in mid-1992 Socks pooped on Clinton’s draft paper on economic issues, leading adviser James Carville to exclaim “That’s ‘The Economy,’ stupid!” Following the 1992 campaign Socks followed the Clintons to the White House, but it was there that the relationship began to sour. After his call for a ban on automatic waterers was misinterpreted by the White House policy team, Clinton began to lose popular in many parts of the South when he signed the assault weapons ban in 1994. Following this incident Socks was sent to the DCCC to advise Congressional candidates on the use of animals in their campaigns. One of these candidates was Speaker Tom Foley, who lost his seat during the Republican tidal wave of 1994. After the campaign Socks returned to the White House and never consulted on another Democratic campaign, outside of his owner’s own re-election bid in 1997. 

Some Clinton insiders credit Socks with the expulsion of consultant Dick Morris from the Clinton campaign when, unbeknownst to Morris, Socks hid under the bed during the consultant’s infamous liaison with a hooker. However, increasing tensions behind the scenes led to Sock’s demotion as chief White House pet in 1997, when the Clintons got Buddy the Dog. Socks took to intense week-long catnip binges around the streets of Washington, DC, at the end of which he would often be found in the lap of the Lincoln Memorial. In 1998 his behavior hit rock bottom when he scratched Prime Minister Tony Blair on December 13th, beginning a two-day stand off with the United Kingdom that was only halted with the launch of Operation Desert Fox against Iraq. Socks then spent a week at the Betty Ford Clinic, after which he never struggled with catnip addiction again. 

In 2000 Socks asked to be assigned to Hillary Clinton’s Senate campaign but was rejected by the Clintons. This was the first signal of things to come, as in 2001 Socks would not follow the Clintons to New York, leading to a final split between the cat and the First couple. Socks began speaking out against the family and in his 2003 book shared many stories about Clinton’s liaison with Monica Lewinsky. In 2002 after Buddy the dog was suspiciously run over by a power company truck Socks was investigated, but no charges were ever brought. 

Following his time in the White House Socks began expressing increasingly conservative political views. In 2002 during the Little Rock Christmas parade he announced his support for the Invasion of Iraq. In 2004 during a rare public appearance with former White House Secretary Betty Currie Socks announced his intention to vote for George W. Bush in 2004, citing the President’s handling of the war on terror. In 2005 he briefly joined the campaign of Republican Jeanine Pirro in for U.S. Senate against Hillary Clinton but was fired when he ate a page of Pirro’s announcement speech, which led to an embarrassing gaffe where Pirro stumbled over her words for nearly a minute. 

In 2008 Socks returned to Democratic politics but not to work for Clinton. Instead he endorsed Barack Obama, saying that as a black and white cat in America he was extremely pleased to see the beginning of racial reconciliation in America. Later in the year Socks was diagnosed with cancer and his public appearances became extremely rare. His final public appearance was to be a speech at the Democratic National Covention, but his speech was bumped when President Carter’s video went long, a final blow to America’s former first feline. 

Socks had one final meeting with the Clintons in December of 2008 when it appeared that he would not recover for his cancer. He congratulated Hillary on her appointment as Secretary of State and made up with Bill, apologizing for any damage he caused during the White House years. Socks was euthanized this morning, attended by Mrs. Currie. 

Socks the Cat’s funeral will be held at the National Cathedral Monday at 11 A.M. Vice-President Biden is expected to attend, as is Secretary of State Clinton. Socks has decided not to have full state honors; rather, his body will lie in state at ASPCA’s national headquarters

*In case you don’t have a funnybone, this is a work of satire. However, I always did think Socks was one good looking cat and my inspiration for getting my mother’s cat Maya when I was at UVA. Socks, you will be missed.